Hardwork, Emotional Rollercoaster, & Sister Circle

Ore Yeye o!

So yesterday was such a strange day. First of all I worked 10 hours with no break. When I looked at my schedule the day before I thought, "What the hell did I do to myself?" Osun was with me and not only gave me quick hands and creativity in the midst of being tired, hungry, and getting in a lil misunderstanding with my husband. I am SO grateful, because I was able to pack 2 days of work into 1 day. I was also VERY bless to have a lot of my favorite clients in one day.

So I made mention of a lil misunderstanding with my husband. Of course I won't be giving details, because we both got pretty stank about the whole thing, but there is a lesson that I want to share. I have a less then stellar relationship with my father. Through the teachings of Ifa, Iya, and Yeye I have been able to behave in a way that makes our relationship easier. I know how to handle situations that use to turn ugly with respect. Anyway, in the recent past I had issues with viewing the relationship between my husband and daughter through the lens of my father and myself. I would often take up for her when she was wrong, because I would see her as a victim of a male chauvinist, which my husband is not. She was getting away with emotional and behavioral murder. My husband and I sat down, discussed it, and I decided to trust him and stay out of that lane. He is a good father and hasn't shown any signs of being like my father. Yesterday I heard half of an exchange between them and said something to my husband when I should have waited until later when I wasn't busy. Needless to say, it didn't go well. The lesson is if I had kept my promise and chosen my time to address the situation wisely, we wouldn't have had such a nasty situation. It ended well, because we both saw areas that we need to work on.

Osun ended as she began with showing herself to be a gracious mother. I had a meeting planned to discuss my rites of passage program. 3 women came out to support the effort. It started off with me talking about the different aspects of the program, but in true feminine form it morphed and changed like water. We started talking about our lives past, present, and future. I learned so much about them and myself. I learned how much I need women. I learned how much I need to have my own interests, take time to myself, and find out what types of things I like to do. All these things my sound really selfish, except for the fact that I have a martyrdom complex of some sort. Focusing on myself will actually bring some much needed balance. I don't know how it's going to go, because I have tried in the past and it hasn't gone very well thanks to feelings of guilt. Such is life, we keep trying to get it right until our time here is done.

Religion vs. Spirituality vs. Culture

Religion vs Spirituality

What is religion?
I've been wanting to cover this for a while, because people always talk about religion like it's a dirty word. You can look it up for yourself, but this is it in a nutshell. When someone has a religion it is simply a way of doing things the same way all the time according to the requirements of that belief system. For example, I wake up and pray to Olodumare and Ori. After that I go work out and clean up and then I complete the rest of my prayers in a very precise and consistent order every single morning. Most of my prayers are recitations that were given to me or suggested to me by my godmother.

What is spirituality?
Now, this is more my opinion than fact. Spirituality is more based on intuition. Rather than sticking to hard fast rules you follow your Ori. It's like tailoring your practice to you. For example, my husband and I go through our prayers in the same order, pray the same prayers, but we add different things that are unique to us as individuals. Why do we do things differently? Because at some point we felt that we were being guided to do so. For example, he has this whole set up he does with Esu to make sure that Esu is not missing out on any offerings. I make sure that Esu isn't missing out on offerings either, but mine isn't nearly as time consuming as my husband's is. Sometimes, I still takes things to the crossroads for Esu and I feel like I should kunle or kneel. For my husband, he's a little concerned with the neighbors being nosy. Nothing is wrong with either one, because we are doing things as we have been led to.

How to you mix religion and spirituality?
We were talking to our children the other day about the fact that Jesus did Jewish things because he was a Jew. We told them about my husband's friend who is a Christian and practices Jewish Holy Days although he CLEARLY of Afrikan descent. Jews generally would not welcome or expect someone of Afrikan descent to practice their Holy Days. Why? Simple. He ain't Jewish. Furthermore, why would a CHRISTIAN practice JEWISH Holy Days? Because the Christian is of Afrikan descent and hates all things Afrikan so he will go to the extreme to assimilate to cultures that look most like massa. As we talked to the children, we told them that no matter what religion the grew up and practiced there was one thing that BETTER be in their houses. They had BETTER have an Egun shrine. Why? Because we are Afrikan and that's what we do. We stay connected to our past. We seek out that wisdom. We know and acknowledge that the Egun gave birth to us all.

The truth is that religion and spirituality are and have always been mixed. One really doesn't seem to do well without the other. One is about dicipline and one is about intutition. When you mix them together, you get what has become distant memory for most Afrikans. It's call culture.

What is culture?
Marimba Ani says that culture:
Brings us from chaos to order
Binds us to each other
Gives us identity
Gives us a reason for surviving
Tells us who we should live for
Tells us who we should die for if necessary
It's an energy source for thriving
Gives us a sense of security
Puts us into a system of accountability, we are accountable to our ancestors
It reproduces what it is.
It's the way we protect ourselves
It's the immune system of a people

Culture is the wholistic view of ourselves. It involves ALL that we do. It determines what we eat, when we sleep, how we interact with each other, how we raise our children, and even the languages that speak as children and the ones that we later learn. So in short, culture is the point at which our religious and spiritual practices flow into our everyday lives. It's hearing our Godmother ask about and respect food taboos of the people she is cooking for and it's about us respecting the taboos of her house. It's the reason that we teach our children Yoruba language rather than Spanish. The truth is that learning Spanish is simply learning another language of the conqueror that slaughtered yet another group of people that were living at one with God and nature. Of course, that's another post for another day. Culture, is setting food aside for your Egun or cooking just for them. Giving a special them space in your house to keep them close to you. Culture is teaching your children to always respect elders, because there is wisdom to be gained simply from their years on this earth. For us, it's learning our connections to the elements in order to show respect and reject the destruction of Onile. Culture is all these things and more.

The truth is that I shouldn't have titled this "Religion vs. Spirituality vs. Culture" as these things are not in conflict with each other. They are as they should be. They are complements that produce the whole. They aren't to be compartmentalized as that is a Eurocentric view and that is not of us. We are whole beings, not broken, and not intended to be in constant conflict.

Ifa-Americanized, Europeanized, Individualized

When I write posts like this I always try to be careful not to step out of place being that I am so young in this culture. I have been thinking about something since we came back from our visit with our Iya , Yeye, Baba 'Fakoyode, and the rest of the Ile.

We took our vessels down to be fed. During a part of the ceremony I watched as Yeye did something that I wouldn've thought was bullshit or a parlor trick had I not seen it myself. I won't mention it here as I don't know if it's appropriate. I was thinking that that kind of Ase can ONLY come from the continent. Not that she can't teach us the same things here as we are ready to learn them, but that the knowledge has to come from the source and must remain unchanged in order to maintain the same amount of Ase. Although she lives in the states, she returns home to Nigeria to continue training from master teachers there.

On FB, there is a group that is basically a mixture of all kinds of African spirituality and even mixes of particular traditions. The more I study the more I realize that we, as children of the diaspora, try to take these traditions and make them our own. The funny thing is that it sounded like a good thing not so long ago. Now, I see more and more that we MUST keep the traditions as they are intended to be kept.

There are reasons that Ifa has morphed into other paths such as Santeria. This was to keep the tradition alive in the face of the HORRIBLE slavery (Maafa) that our ancestors endured. Well, now that it doesn't have to be kept secret anymore, many choose to no longer acknowledge that the source of their Santeria belief is Ifa that originated in Nigeria. Here is an article about it. It would seem that Africa continues to be the mother of ungrateful bastard children that refuse to honor Her as their source.

As most of you know, I don't not glorify integration. There are somethings that are better executed within particular groups, and I do NOT believe that we have to share all of our belief and concepts with each other. We simply should respect them and keep it moving. Think of it like the human body. There are parts of the body that are not to be seen by everyone. They are considered sacred. Why then, do we feel obligated share the secrets of our traditions with people that have constantly/consistently sought to destroy us in the name of integration and belonging? An example of Americanization and Europeanization can be seen here. When I was first trying to find my way, I found that there are a lot of "others" writing about African tradition and cultures and their materials are being mainstreamed while those who are actually able to accurately teach/write are not pushed into the limelight in the same way. I guess everyone many people want to make money and bend Ifa to their own will. This brings me to my next point of individualize practices.

Now, I have learned from my elders that there are certain things that you may be told to do differently from someone else. For example when my husband and I do our morning prayers, it looks different. We teach our children our differences, which are VERY slight and we teach them why we have chosen to do it the way we have. Clearly, this is not the individualism that I am speaking of. I am talking about people who are angry, jaded, or just plain arrogant and have decided that they don't have to learn from anyone, teach anyone, or participate in a community. NOBODY in the world knows all of the mysteries of Ifa so that means that we ALWAYS have more to learn and the way this culture works is that we have teachers. This culture is NOT based on writings as it is an originally an oral tradition. Oral traditions by their very nature mean that you MUST interact with others...a community. We live in NC, but our ile is in Ga. We have been down twice and although we would love to go more often we stay in constant communication, we study a lot with materials suggested by elders, and we double check that information to see if it is the same as what is done in our lineage. The connection that we feel with our Ifa family is unbreakable. We are truly blessed beyond measure. We are truly ride-or-die for each other. As for the teaching, my husband and I are not in an official position to teach, but of course we teach our children whatever we learn. I even teach the concepts I learn in Ifa to others by putting it in plan language. Because Ifa is not a conversion "faith" I've found that no matter who I am talking too and what they believe, unbeknownst to them they find Ifa to be strong and true. ;)

I realize that this post was really long, but I had some thangs on my chest. Please feel free to respond to what has been said if you agree and especially if you don't agree. lol

Yeyelawo Olomitutu

Reposted from FB note:

I woke up with Yeye on my mind. Due to the fact I have been taught to respect elders at all cost I struggled with how to write this and remain respectful. So here goes.

I am being taught both by Yeyelawo Olomitutu and Iya Ifalola Sangoyemi. They have been such a blessing to me and have saved me from many things that I couldn't see with my own eyes, things I could see but was to "young" to comprehend, and even things I refused to see out of stubbornness. They are EXTREMELY strong women, but don't confuse strength with anger or hate. They are very much like the vulture that will prick her own thigh to feed her children the blood.

A lot of the imbalance and disharmony I see going on around me does hurt because I came into this culture with very high expectations that it was going to be all love. As I grow in life I see that is not the case anywhere. I will say, however, that for ME these two women have been salvation. I have only seen humility in them. When they have been wrong on any level, they let us learn from their mistakes. They didn't hide them. Humility responds to humility. Further, I would humbly suggest that humility should be something for all of us to strive for will on this path. It is a integral part of this path.

As for money, like anyone else I don't always have it. Now most times I will just save it up until I have what I need, because I HATE being indebted to ANYONE. There are times, however, when you NEED things done for your own well being and they must be done RIGHT THEN. In this case if  I didn't have the money for something that NEEDED to be done, I was allowed to repay Yeye and I we worked hard to do it in a timely fashion. She never once complained, never once talked about us, she just waited and treated us well. Spirit takes precedence over money. Now is money necessary? Yes, but believe that it won't come before your life or well being at any point. 

The reason that I am writing this is because I woke up with Yeye on my mind. I read somewhere once that when you have good elders that it doesn't fall to them to defend who they are and how they are. It falls to the ones that they have shown their character to. Well Yeye like any other person has her ways, BUT she will fight like hell for the integrity of Ifa to be kept, she will kill for those she loves, and she will sacrifice of herself. These things I have seen. Am I saying she's perfect? Nope, because then I would be lying. She strives from good character daily, especially in a world that I know for myself is hard on strong women. I will say this, however, you don't have to like her. There are a lot of people that don't and the won't like her. You don't even have to respect her, but know that she walks upright in her spiritual life and you would do well to do the same. If not, no matter. It's your funeral.

For all that are reading this, may you have all that you put into the world with both your mouth and actions, in secret and in public returned to you 10 times over. Ase, Ase, Ase o

Yeyelawo Olomitutu

A lesson in Iwa (character)

Okay so this will be the short version as a long story. We went out of town to pick my our daughter and niece up from my other niece's house. We had a really rough morning because of problems with the rental company, price line, lack of cars, etc. From that point everything was down hill. We had some really good moments sprinkled in, but it was still pretty rough.

My husband is omo Obatala so one of their traits is that their thoughts and contemplations can overtake them. They can get so absorbed in their thoughts that nothing else matter except whatever is on their minds. Idk, if they are all this way, but my husband is a problem solver. He is obsessive about it and this was part of the issue yesterday. Because so many things went wrong that he couldn't fix, he started to remind you of a robot that had overloaded their circuits. Toward the end of the trip, even ordering food for the children became a bit much. I said all this to say that when you are aware of the energy carried by a person you can deal with them appropriately, which for me meant shutting up...for the most part.

Long story short (too late) we had to clean the vessels today. Little did we realize that the opposing energy of yesterday had carried over into today. Well, as we began to clean the vessels little snatches of irritation started to show with everybody here and there. I should have stopped everything right there, but I didn't. It ended with tears, fussing, yelling, etc. Whew!!! When it really went bad I was trying to help our Son (omo Ogun) to clean and cast to Ogun. I thought he was cool until I looked at his face. *insert screeching tire sound here* I stopped right there. I didn't want anything going any further.

I talked to my husband first and told him that because Iya always tells us her mistakes so we can learn from them, we had to do the same with the children. We decided to talk to the children about the lesson that we had learned from the gbogbo wahala. What were I lessons without tellin' all our bidness?

1. Don't go to Orisa when you haven't made things right with your family.
2. Don't go to Orisa with an expected out come when you cast.
3. When you get something that you don't like when casting, don't get mad. Think of it like a parent giving correction to a child and the child getting pissed and thinking that everything is going to be cool. NOT!
4. Don't ask questions that you don't want answered. You are not accountable for what your Ori doesn't know. 
5. Family is your first shrine.
6. You are in responsible for your OWN character, you can't blame other people for as some say "taking you out of your character".

I hope you learn something from our lesson. It was rough---real rough, but it was worth it for what came out of it. 

Iba ase Esu oooooo!!!

Elders...R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Okay so today I'm going to get my nerve up and talk about eldership. I will look at it from the African American/Diaspora aspect and the traditional aspect. Remember this is only my opinion based on what I have learned so far.

As a youth growing up I was taught many conflicting views on what it meant to be an elder and how to treat elders. On one hand as a small child you had to respect everyone that was considered an adult or that was at least old enough to babysit you. As you came into your teenage years you began to be told that you should respect those that respected you. Now, unless you were a total fool you knew that this, for the most part was not applicable to your close elders (mother, aunts, etc). When I started to have conflict with my father, I had to learn about this mutual respect ideology head on. I have OFTEN felt like my father was disrespecting me as a person in general. He said some very hurtful ugly things to me and then expected respect. He was nice to people outside the family, but then would be mean to us. Now, this is not the whole of who he is, but it's not untrue either. Anyhoo, I took the road of not respecting him to a degree. I did what I was told, but was NEVER happy about it and NEVER did anything extra for him. Now, with my mother, she was always respectful of us and so it was NO problem to give her the same. To this day if my Mama asks me for $5 I will try to give her $10. If she corrects me I humbly accept the wisdom and move on. My behavior is not all that uncommon here in the diaspora. The truth is that many of our elders are simply that, elders, but lack a lot in regard to having standards of behavior. This observation accounts for the foolishness that we see from the generations that they rear. My relationship with my father was directly reflected in my relationships with men.

Yeye (Yeye Lawo Olomitutu) is from Nigeria and has told me that they regard elders based on age.The character or initiation of the Elder can be somewhat irrelevant. Of course I'm sure that on the whole they strive for good and gentle character, but as she has taught me, if they are found lacking you (the junior) are not free to act on that. Meaning that if they curse you completely out you are expected to take it, learn from it, and move forward. Iya (Iyanifa Ifalola Sangoyemi) has always woven lessons on respect for elders into conversations. Often they were very hard pills to swallow, but I took my medicine like a big girl...most of the time. These lessons on an almost blind respect for elders has in many ways saved my relationship with my father. I still draw some boundaries to be honest because I feel the need to protect my family from some of that foolishness, but I do so respectfully. I allow myself some space for learning. I also keep in mind that Ifa has standards that don't care one bit about "how I was raised". Because of this, I have had to take a few classes in humility

There is one more difference here in the diaspora that probably wouldn't happen as much in Nigeria. Here many of us are reconnected to Ifa (ATRs) as adults. This can make figuring out elders an interesting game. Here is an example. I am actually older (by about a year) than my Iya, but she is initiated Sango AND Ifa. Now, 9 times out of 10 that wouldn't have happened if we were raised in the tradition. So natally I am actually her elder, but she is twice initiated mine. As a matter of fact my husband is about 7 years her elder natally, but she's our Iya (mother). Humility, gratefulness, and her old soul make it both easy and a joy to kneel at her feet when we see her. She has literally saved me and brought me to Ifa. The other cool thing is that she, imho, was really old when she transitioned from her last life so she is a really old soul this life. Ifa, looks out for the small things. ;). There is a little boy that might possibly be initiated before me, and guess what? If this happens I will salute him as required by Ifa and expect him to do as he is asked in other regards. This is simply the way things must be navigated with a culture that is trying to play catch up with reconnecting with our roots.

My prayer is that you will read this as one of my on going lessons, not as a reason for division or disagreement with what you may believe. We, as Afrikan Americans, have a very unique experience to put it nicely. We have to make some adjustments at times in regards to our ATRs/DTRs, but in the end we should all find some common lessons. These lessons should be humility, love, gratefulness, truth, honesty, and community.

Again, these are just the humble lessons and opinions of an Ifa baby...

Community Homeschooling

So, I've been volunteering with the summer camp that my niece is heading up. Although it has had it's challenges for everyone involved I have fallen in love with the children. I LOVE teaching. Now, you would think that this would have come naturally since we homeschool already. Lemme tell you, sometimes it can take a minute for you to find you way. I went so long with having someone else teach my children it was hard at first. I'm also not the most organized person in the world so I tend to lean toward unschooling to a degree with a lot of reading. Anyway, since I have come into this new love I starting thinking...what if I do this all the time with other people's children? What if I start with a Saturday school? What if I am eventually able to start homeschooling in a community way?

You may be saying, "Um, this blog is about your journey to Ifa. What does this have to do with Ifa?" Well, I'm glad you asked. You see, the Afrikan way is a communal way. Let's say that my godmother likes to hustle and run a lucrative business and I like to stay home and nurture. Wouldn't it make sense for her to work and for me to homeschool with a lil side business rather than both of us working full time and our children going to public school? Kinda like co-wives, but we both have our OWN husbands. lol There are a lot of families in our community that have children that simply don't do well in the school system. We need to pull together to save them. This is the Afrikan way. We save each other. We save each other's children.

When I began to entertain the thought of a communal homeschool. I felt this rush. It was like my Egun were blessing it. Like they were saying that they were glad that I finally figured it out. I haven't cast for it yet. I don't know if I should since I feel so strongly and so relaxed about it. I don't know if I would give up hair, although the timing is perfect. I sat at my shrine and talked to them about it. For the first time I felt a deep connection. I knew that they were there and it didn't take a whole lot of singing and chanting. I just talked and poured out my heart. Of course I will ask Iya about it and see what she thinks as far as casting for it and such, but she is really heavy on listening to your Ori. I always tell her that I don't quite trust mine yet because I'm just now reconnecting to it.

On another note about communal mindsets...This is not an example of homeschooling, but my Iya said something the other day that made a HUGE impact on me. She was talking about Yeye (Yeye Lawo Olomitutu). She said that she(Yeye) was planning on buying a van for the Ile. That way if anybody needed a ride, whoever was off that day would basically play chauffeur to make sure that everybody could get around. How many preachers do you know that buy a vehicle to be used by any and everybody in their congregation? Then Iya told Yeye, that if she bought the van she would probably end up giving it to one of the people in the Ile that needs a car. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT? Now to be honest, I am having to take notes because I am still having to deprogram from a lot of individualistic thought, but I have beautiful examples of what it is to be giving and communal in word and deed. These are two BEAUTIFUL women! It doesn't mean that you are never compensated for your goods or services, but it means that you aren't petty as hell about every little thing.

It takes a village to raise a child, but the village is jacked up. Don't sit back and complain about the village, but rather do what YOU can where YOU are to change it!

Most Important Shrine...

I read something in one of the books by Ayo Salami a while back that really convinced me the the completeness of Ifa. Ifa covers very completely the obligations of the husband and wife and the family as a whole. The funny thing is that it is really similar to Christianity in it's implication.

Often times people will go to church or tend their shrines like clock work. They will get up, get dressed, put on their good cologne or light incense, take communion or pour libation, etc without complaint the first. Now if you observe that same person in their dealings with their own family, you may be surprised. You may find that they have their priorities a little out of sorts.

Ifa is a family culture. EVERYTHING about Ifa involves or impacts familial relationships. It covers traditional duties for the husband and wife as far as work and children are concerned, and it even covers sexual obligations.  Ifa speaks of how we should care for and treat our children, elders, and even ancestors. The truth is that our families are our first and most important shrines. We have to care for those that we look at everyday. We have to make sure that they are cared for in every way. If you choose not to do this, you are wasting your time at church or in front of the shrines.

Another reason that you must tend to your family is because you cause division which can allow spiritual attach from various Ajogun (negative forces). It is easier to avoid such issues on the front end, rather than let them take over and have to offer sacrifice on the back end.

No matter how spiritual you are, you are wasting your time and making more work for yourself if you neglect you family.

***My Iya reads this blog and added that it is actually taboo for a wife/husband to neglect their "grown folk" duties. I would assume that it is also taboo for you to neglect any relationship that you entered into willingly such as parenthood or even taking care of ones parents when needed. Gotta love Ifa, it is so simple and common sense in it's complexity.

Dreaming again...

So, I used to dream these really vivid dreams when I was young. Sometimes they were  scary, sometimes warnings, sometimes really pleasant, and sometimes they were just neutral like my regular life. Some of the church folk I grew up around little by little taught me not to trust myself (ori) or my dreams (don't know who helps out with dreams). They would say it with glances of disbelief, "awww, that doesn't mean anything", or "That's the devil talking to you, don't answer!". Whatever the case I learned to ignore the various ways Spirit tried to speak. I learned to sleep with the television on, the radio on, or even sleep in something uncomfortable if the dreams had been scary.

Fast forward

I'd gone to Miami to stay for 2 weeks with a Babalawo, which you've probably seen me mention in other posts. When I was there, I was back to my old dreaming vision having self. It was so exciting. It was like a paralyzed person being able to get up and run again! Then eventually I went back to church. At first it was okay because the new pastor believed in all that stuff. She didn't try to control it or suppress it. It was cool. Then what always happens around me happened again. She changed. She wanted to control me. She didn't want to really teach me anymore, she just wanted me to sit, be quiet, and not say anything to anybody about anything. Even if I felt, deeply, like I was supposed to. No reason given. Anyhoo, so I started using my tactics to suppress the dreams and visions the best way I could. At first it wasn't working, but eventually it did. By the time I saw her for what she was and saw the construct of the institutionalized church for what it was, it was too late. I'd put an entire side of myself to sleep. I was a walking spiritual zombie.

Fast forward

Ifa has pulled me in. I'm settling in. I had a bump in the road, but I'm still here. It's a beautiful path and I'm happy. The one problem? I'm not really dreaming and not having ANY visions. Talked to Iya about it, and she's encouraging and teaching me. Slowly the dreams start to come back. I'd forgotten that when I was *ignorantly practicing Ifa before that the dreams had become really physical. Like I was simply living my life in two different realms. If I got hurt in one realm I had bruise or sore in this realm. Well, I have been reminded of this recently. I haven't gotten hurt in a dream yet, but I have gotten shocked in a dream only to wake up still feeling the affects, and I have gotten up with skin sensitivity issues from strong energies being literally thrown at me. So all that to say that I do feel as though dreams are real. Real in the sense that because deep sleep is so close to death, we are able to leave our bodies and go to other realms. I'm so past caring about you thinking I'm crazy so don't bother posting any comments like that. I travel in my dreams and even tend to frequent certain places with the same people. The dreams are not reoccurring. They are continuing.

Anyway, last night was the second night of dreaming that someone was trying to get to me in a negative way. I woke up wide awake and although my husband was going to let me sleep in I got up. It was 5:42am trust me, I don't willing get up that hour for anybody. I kept laying there trying to figure the dream out so I didn't call nagging Iya again. I realized that I have to pay attention to the CONNECTIONS that people have with one another. If I can't trust one person, then I have to pay attention to the people connected to them also as birds of a feather tend to flock together.

My dreams save me from a lot when I can understand them and when I pay attention. Like the one yesterday and this morning taught me about trust. I am naturally a very trusting person and pretty quick to forgive. This, for me, means that I get hurt a lot and caught off guard. I'm ALWAYS shocked when somebody does something mean to me. My first thought it ALWAYS, "...but what did I do to them to make them treat me like that?". Then time passes and I have to fight like hell to keep from forgiving and FORGETTING. For whatever reason, however, my dreams stick with me. I think it's because I feel like it is SPIRIT warning me and so I have to respect it more. I have to learn, however, that Spirit also works through my Ori when I'm awake, so I shouldn't have to get my nerves torn to shreds in a dream to get it.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading. Didn't intend on making this post this long...
*meaning I wasn't really learning anything. I was only doing what I was told, but wasn't being taught the meanings and such.

Hand of Ifa Weekend

Let me first say that I am changed forever. The weekend of May 20th my husband and I received our Hand of Ifa. I short, you receive some information about yourself that helps you to develop further in the tradition and you also receive the tools to continue to stay in contact with the necessary energies. I don't really feel comfortable saying much more than that because I already feel as though too much information in just kinda hanging around in cyber space.

I would, however, like to speak on the beauty of the experience.

Community/Family
We all learned something about what real community and family looks like. We arrived and got lost in the neighborhood and Iya and Yeye (both mean mother but that's what we stick with for differentiation) came to rescue us. When I saw Iya's face I was SO EXCITED!!! I immediately knew I was home. When we got to the house they had bought food from a Senegalese restaurant and didn't ask for a dime. Wait, forgot to tell you. We had only been greeting via verbal instructions. It was a little different, but it felt good to see and do all the bowing. They are so worthy of it. It was wonderful for the children to learn it also. Back to the food. It was delicious. All my vegetarian ways were on hold for the weekend because I thought myself a little haughty to expect someone who is kind enough to feed us to rearrange their eating habits. Plus to be honest, MY IYA CAN COOK!!! OMG!!! If we had stayed any longer I would have been a cow. One thing that my husband loved was that EVERYBODY is EVERY child's Iya and Baba. I didn't have to worry about where they were and what they were doing. They were also very excited to meet Iya's two girls. Let's be honest I was SUPER excited to meet them. They are such wonderful STRONG little women. Olamide even gained a teacher while we were there. They have so much in common and he is a magnificent Awo. Baba Ifakayode's duality shows in a very beautiful way and is a very balanced omo Esu. Honestly he is like the male version of my Iya so I gotta love 'im. Long story short I have a whole new family and I love them all. My heart has been wanting to return since we pulled out of her driveway. We all cried off and on as we left Atlanta.

Culture/Spirituality
We learned A LOT!!! The thing that I really enjoyed is that if you just have a conversation with the people I met you are going to learn SOMETHING. If you are around them and don't learn, it's because you choose ignorance. Once 3 conversations were going on at once and I just walked room to room trying my best to get it all. Yeye is originally from The Continent so I love that. She has a better grip on the actual cultural aspect and I really appreciate that. Plus she is just the bomb when it comes to Ifa. She can explain things in ways that make the most complex idea simply and easy to learn. She is Omo Sango/Osun but also has been initiate to Obatala. The bomb right? Purdy much. Iya is a southern girl by birth, but her heart has the strength of the Congo and the beauty of Ifa. I just love her for every reason and no reason at all. She saved me from a really bad situation so I owe her my life. I am forever in her debt and at her beck-and-call. I loved learning all of the things she taught us. I really love casting obi and tending the shrines. She is a really straight forward in your face kind of teacher. She ain't gone pull no punches. Her strengths are her humility and love for honesty. That's why we get along so well. I know she is safe, because she values the same things I do. She is truly omo Sango/Oya.

That short weekend made me able to go back home and pick up on my reading and have it come alive. Ifa is real to me. I can feel it now. I give thanks. Ase.

Interview by Awo Kolade with Chief Ayo Salami

Part 1 of 7


Part 2 of 7


Part 3 of 7


Part 4 of 7


Part 5 of 7


Part 6 of 7


Part 7 of 7

Sango went to church yesterday...

When I go to church I often feel as if I am going against Orisa or just being plan old fake. Yesterday was different for me.

Yesterday, I was suddenly able to recognize the similarities between Sango and Christ. When they sang songs I recognized the story of Sango. Whey they talked about what Christ stood for, I hear the praise names and stories of Sango. Yesterday, as I sat on "the minister's row" taking pictures of children while wearing a red and white dashiki, it struggled to resist shouting "KAWOOOOOOOOO" at the top of my lungs. I met Sango on the front row yesterday. I suddenly felt sorry for the Christ figure. I suddenly realized how the European mindset has feminized what was probably once a very strong man.

I wandered why all day Saturday, I felt excited about my outfit for Sunday. I wondered why I couldn't stop thinking about draping myself in red and white (in Christian terms, the blood that was shed and the purity that comes from it). I wrapped my head in white, probably Obatala prepping me for a cool head in the midst of foolishness. I know now, that Sango wanted me draped in his energy to receive his energy. He wanted to bless me. He wanted to strengthen me. He wanted to dance with me, and I am humbled.

KAWOOOOOOOOOOO Kabiyesi!!!!!!!!!

Heeeeeelllllllll Naaaaaaawwwwww!!!!!!

Hell naw. That's what I wanted to saw to this lady that wants me to do her hair. I wanted to say it because she doesn't comprehend "no". Here's the background:

She knows somebody who knows my aunt. The somebody told her about my aunts hair and she wants me to do hers. For various reasons, I'm not taking anyone right now, but am still willing to consult and teach as needed. I told her this very clearly. She kept giving me her sob story and I kept saying no. There a million natural hairstylist and I'm not arrogant enough to think that she couldn't go anywhere else, which is what I suggested to her. Anyhoo, I scheduled a consultation for tomorrow. She wanted to know if I could do it last Friday or Saturday. RED FLAG She thought she was going to be slick and get her hair done. NOT. I have been through this before when I was less aware and I would cave and be sorry later. She called today while I was out and talked to my husband like she really knew me so he gave her the cell number. She called to "confirm" our appointment. Nah, that just what she said. I knew what she was up to and she got around to it. Retelling the story that I've heard a million times from her. At this point it's a pissing contest. Can she come early. Can she stay late. Can she schedule for another time. NO.NO.NO. I already know that tomorrow will be her first and last time seeing my face. I am also fairly certain that she is going to meet the straight forward no BSing version of myself because she is aggravating me.

THE LESSON:  These kinds of people come into my life because of the residual energy that I have lingering that says that I can easily manipulated and made to change my mind. See, I used to always allow people to talk me into things that I didn't want to do. I used allow people into my cipher that shouldn't be there, and I knew they should have never entered in the first place. Those days are gone. That chic is dead. My no means no and my yes is yes. I have also learned that part of the reason I must be so careful about the company I keep is because of my Ori. It seems to be a lil sensitive to carrying other people's crap. I tend to carry other people's weight on my head. Now, I look back and can understand why I wrapped my head faithfully during certain periods in my life. It was self preservation. I was protecting my head. Gotta get more white cloth because my head is calling for it...

Roller Coaster Emotions...

I just need to write this. I don't feel balanced today. I want to laugh. I want to cry, as I allow Yemoja's waters to leave a salty streaks on my cheeks. I want to lay close to my husband as he prays over my Ori in offering to Obatala and have him reach deep into my center and help me release with the fire of Sango. I want to scream all of my pissed off-ness at the top of my lungs as an offering to Oya and then whisper encouragement to my children from the  honey coated lips of Osun. I want to crawl back in bed, turn my fan on, pull the covers up around my face, and pretend to be asleep while I listen to the birds chant Ifa.

Alas my apparent imbalance is so balanced, just so unfamiliar. Modupe gbogbo Orisa.

I need to connect...

Okay so, I'm sure I've whined about this before. I am an extrovert in the purest sense of the word. I thrive on being around people. That's how I connect to new things, through the energy of other people. I have learned A LOT about this path. Well, I guess it would be more appropriate to say that I've learn a lot MORE than what I knew before with my first go round. While I didn't get a lot of the lessons the first time around, I got to feed from the energies because I was assisting a Babalawo. I didn't know a lot on paper, but what I have now come to know as my Ori, was on point. I am so ready to go see Iya, participate in whatever we gone be doing, hear the drums, dance, sing, and eat!!! Well, idk about being excited about the eating because I don't eat meat and am going vegan as we speak.

I love going to the river and pouring honey. I love pouring palm oil to the wind. I love talking to and feeding Egun. This path, however, is a communal one. Everything in balance. We need the spirit realm, but the spirit realm also needs us. Various energies feed off one another, just like we feed off each others energies. I don't know how people call themselves just walking this journey alone without godparents, godbrothers/sisters, and community. I know some people like me don't have anyone close, but my spirit wants to be close to my Godmother to learn and grow.

Gas up the truck. I need to connect.

I'd like to re-introduce myself...

Just came over here to express my excitement. My husband and I now have our Ifa names!!! Yay!!! Mine is Ifasayo and his is Olamide!!! So excited! Haven't received our Hand of Ifa yet, but that will be happening very soon! I am very excited and am finally able to embrace this path without sweating every time something new is presented to me. I still have random sweating out breaks due to nerves, but I'm getting much better. Step by step by step...

Pride and love

Last week a client called me and asked me if she could treat me to a pedicure. I refused as my mind was flooded with feelings of guilt. I mean, she's not rich. She has her own financial issues and responsibilities. I mean, my feet look like "who done it and why". I told her to let me think about it and try to get over myself. I just couldn't do it. Pride.

Yesterday I was in the grocery store. Everybody and their Mama decided to go to the store at the exact moment I did. They store was short staffed and cashiers were having technical difficulties. As I stood in line I began to talk to an elder couple in front of me that I'd seen flirting with each other earlier. We exchanged ideas about how the store could be run more efficiently, dinner plans, and past jobs. When the checked out, they seemed to kind of wait around to tell me goodbye. I expressed how I'd really enjoyed talking to them. I leaned over to the woman and whispered playfully how I loved her earrings and needed them in my life. I smiled and walked away. She caught up to me removing her earrings and telling me I could have them. At first I refused, because receiving is not my strong point. She repeated the offer with a warm look that made me think of my own mother. I hugged her in gratitude like I'd known her forever.

I love giving and I realised that it is my own pride that keeps me from receiving and keeps others from feeling the joy I feel when I give freely. I don't know when this behavior started, but I know that it was exacerbated by the martyr-like attitude of the church. You learn to totally sacrifice yourself on the altar giving everything away in the name of God while never learning to preserve yourself. I am learning daily to love myself and receive love. I am learning not to push love away. Love doesn't make you feel guilty, pride does. The two are often and strangely confused...at least they were in my mind. This post doesn't really have a clear cut point. I just wanted to share this very pivotal leg of my journey to Ifa and to my highest self.

I'm omo who?

So, when I began this path I was CERTAIN that I was omo Oya. Why? Because I feel a strong connection to egun, cemeteries, and I am ride or die with my Sango husband. Well, we thought he was Sango...Anyhoo, we got our first readings done and it came up that I was omo Osun. Now, to be honest I was crushed. I almost cried. I literally felt rejected by Oya. I know that may sound stupid, but it is what it is. Akinlabi came up omo Sango. To be honest I could see some of that, but we were never quite certain that it was right. I expressed these concerns to Iya. I guess my Ori was wearing on her Ori, so she decided to find out if our initial reading was on point. Well...drum roll please.
Akinlabi is...
 and
Omo Obatala ati Ori. Makes perfect sense! I had no idea that you could have Ori as your guardian aside from the usual understanding of our dependence on Ori. Who knew? What's really interesting is that Obatala has a lot to do with Ori and Sango to the point Obatala can't really be separated from either one. Ase ooo!!!

I was found to be...

ati
 I am omo Osun ati Ifa...

I'll say this. It make perfect sense in regards to what I was told in my roots reading. I come from a family that worshipped Ifa and also created a lot of the tools/beading that the Ifa priest used.

For us this has very heavy implications. Akinlabi will become a priest of Obatala and will be Iyanifa and Osun priestess (well I guess the later still applies from the initial reading). Gotta be honest, I am very nervous. I figured that we would end up on a road like this because we both have always been prophesied to about "going into the ministry". I was dubbed a prophet, though I have blocked most of that ability and feel really stupid because now I need it and am having to work hard to get back what I had naturally. SN, please be grateful for whatever natural abilities you have. Never fear them, because they are to help you and complete you as an individual. All that being said, now I'm ready to get our full readings done. I am so scared an excited about my path. I guess, I just take it one day and one step at a time...

Spirituality, Dichotomy, and Compartmentalization

I have always proudly stated that I am a very "black and white person." I've always worn it as a badge of pride and in many ways have used it as a measurement by which to gauge the morality of others. Everything was good/bad, black/white, god/devil, etc. I'm sure many of you are wondering what the problem is. Well, the problem is this, the Universe simply does not work that way. It's not comprised of dichotomous opposing forces. It is not compartmentalized for our ease of use. It is, in fact, comprised of many and varied complementary principals. The concept of all differences being opposing is the root of many of the issues that we see every day. Some of them are rather confusing and complex.

Spirituality-Many indigenous cultures do not have a clear cut belief of good vs. evil. Many times you will just hear stories of opposing forces, but they are mostly used to illustrate balances via personification of various elemental components found in everyday life. Things such as sunrise/sunset, sun/moon, fire/water, etc. Even in popular movies such as Avatar. The fire nation wasn't innately bad. The issue that the other nations had with them was that they caused imbalances and disconnection from the Spirit world. In Ifa, from what I have learned so far, there are also opposing forces. I have never heard them being called evil. Why? I assume that it is because everything has a purpose and that purpose is to maintain balance. Many times we call things evil if we don't understand them. We are connected to all things and all things are connected to us, so if anything is evil that evil will also be reflected in us as a whole.

Dichotomy- Here is the definition from good old Merriam Webster- a division into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities ; also : the process or practice of making such a division. Now, further down it also talked about "two seemingly opposing forces". I am reading the book Yurugu by Marimba Ani and she speaks about this topic a lot because it was birthed from the European thought in order to satiate their need to control. Dichotomies have a tendency to separate and not appreciate. Think about it in regards to the American school system. Segregation was cool except for the fact that the differences between the two were not appreciated or view as equal. One was considered good and the other evil. One was considered strong while the other was considered weak. They never did and probably never will reach the point of being seen as separate or different, but equal. We should, in all things, seek to see the complement rather than the dichotomy even when one of the parts is unbalanced. Nothing is truly mutually exclusive or contradictory, those mindsets come from oppressive mentalities rather than from Spirit.

Compartmentalization-When I was in the church, I remember hearing people constantly spouting, in order of importance, the  things in their lives. It usually sounded something like, "God first, my family and friends, my job, and then everything else." In indigenous beliefs/culture/concepts all of those things are one and the same. They cannot be separated and were never meant to be separated. You may have also heard someone say,"We are all made up of 3 parts. These parts are mind, body, and spirit." or something like that. In indigenous thought we view ourselves as whole beings and as part of, but not separated from, all things in the universe. We are not to view ourselves as pieces and parts to be improved on or ignored independently from the rest of the being. Everything and everybody is connected, and not in the hierarchical sense that many of us have been taught. We are NOT more important than water, animals, rocks, etc. We are all a very minute yet infinite part of a infinitely large universe. You can do nothing without causing changes somewhere else. Our existence is not comprised of a bunch of file cabinet drawers to be pulled out and tended to at our whim. We are whole beings in a whole culture, but have been tricked into believing that we are separate and broken by the belief in a culture not our own.

Freed up a little...

Okay, so I'll admit that I'm not the most patient creature ever created, but I have to best intentions. When I am excited about something I want to learn everything about it. This has been especially true with any religious experiences I've had. I am hitting a major wall with the differences between my experiences in Christianity and Ifa. You see when I was in the church I pretty much was made a minister first and learned all about the religion and stuff later. With Ifa, not matter how I push, pull, and throw fits I can't move forward until I complete and fully understand the next step. This generally has nothing to do with being blocked by various elders. Oh no. Not at all. That would be too easy for me to maneuver and manipulate to get my way. I swear I'm being blocked by shear spiritual force. I am being made to be still and master each step before moving on. Ori, is able to make total sense of this, but the rest of me looks like the girl bouncing back and forth wanting to jump in the double dutch ropes. I was listening to Baba Ifategunse and he was dancing all over my toes. At the same time I was saying ouch I was being relieved of the pressure to achieve. I have been told repeatedly to slow down, but sometimes you just have to hear it the "right way." The way that makes sense in YOUR ears. He was telling me (well it seemed that he was speaking to me) that I should take about 3 years to just concentrate on my Egun. Get that relationship tight first at it is the foundation to everything else. Now, let me say that everyone that has played a role in my "Ifa Education" has told me the same thing, so this is in no way a reflection on those that have taught me thus far. I have just been rushing and pushing and not mastering. Now, I want to master my communication with Egun because I need them and they need me. Our relationship is reciprocal and they have been waiting a long time to be heard and have a lot to say...