Growing and evolving is hard...

We often look at children as they morph seemingly overnight into adults and wonder when it all happened. I would guess that it happened in those nasty messy times when we thought they were going crazy because of their sulking, outbursts, frustrations, and periodic tantrums. Why do I believe this? I believe it, because I feel the same way right now. I feel like a child that needs to be entrusted with more, but is idling in the same place, at the same pace, getting frustrated! I want to learn more. I need to learn more. But alas, I am too immature. I haven't handled some things that need to be handled. Like a child, I want more freedom, but I'm too scared to do what it takes to get it...*snaps the band on big panties and turns on music to continue dancing with Esu*

Updates: Egun, Roots, Teachers, Paths...

Egun Discipline
I'll start this one by just saying this. When your egun tell you to do something, just do it. You are not stronger than they are. You are not more persistent or stubborn than they are. The do NOT just live at the altar and will follow you around like Patrick Swayze did Whoopi Goldberg in the movie "Ghost". They have free range to go where they want and to be as persistent as they want.

Out of pure fear, arrogance, and ignorance did I basically challenge my egun. I was told very clearly to communicate a message to someone. In my opinion the message was going to be very hurtful to this person and so for months I refused to say what I had been told to say. Let's suffice it to say that in the end I said what I was told after much fear, crying, and a really punky email. Guess what. The person wasn't shocked or surprised. I had basically made myself sick and ran myself crazy because I put the imagined feelings of someone else before the request, to put it nicely, of my egun. Note to self: Egun are smarter than us and more persistent because they don't need sleep...

Roots Reading
So I got my DNA done a while back and planned to get oko mi's done too because we were really feeling the need to reconnect with our roots on The Continent. Well, Iya Ifalola told him about getting a roots reading. What is that you ask? Well, I won't tell you what it is because I don't know if it's the same experience for everyone. I will, however, tell you what it was for me. I found out that I returned through my father's lineage which came from Benin. I was also told that we come from artisans and worshiped Ifa and were enslaved because we refused to give up our traditional culture for Islam. Some things were read for my diet and such, but most exciting was that I received my name. Morenike (moh-reh-nee-keh) Egunjobi (Eh-goon-jo-bee). I found it to be very fitting. I'm very happy that I had it done and felt that it was very accurate. Baba Ifategunse from the Village of Oyotunji did it for us and he was VERY patient and a really good teacher. Love HIM!!!

Teachers
I do have 2 people that I would have to consider to be teachers right now which is fine by me. I keep feeling a tug to consult, for whatever reason, a third who is a priestess of Osun. I'm struggling against my fear and stubbornness to just stop over thinking it and contact her. The super stupid part is that her number is already in my phone. Sometimes I just look at myself like, "really?". UGH!

This Path
I have learned so much about myself as an individual and as part of a huge collective. I love myself more. My character is WAY better than it was. I am so much more balanced. I still have a lot to learn, but that is the beauty of this culture. There is always more to learn. You are not judged for what you don't know. You are only judged if you are unwilling to learn. My teachers in aiye ati orun are wonderful and I know that I am loved because they correct me.

I hope this helps you on your path. Ase.