Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
My heart is aching...
I was watching Black Girls Rock with my newly teenaged daughter. There was an actress whose name I can't remember that mounted the stage and thanked her parents. When she thanked her father, he looked at her as if she'd just been born. As if it were his first time gazing upon her beautiful face. He mouthed something back that ended with the word "baby" and he smiled this sweet smile at her. At that moment I was both happy for and jealous of my sister on that stage. Not because of the award, but because her father loves her.
My father is alive and in my life. We lack connection, because of him not knowing how to be a father when I needed one. I have probably covered this before so I won't go back over it. The reason that we are able to interact peacefully at this point is due to my belief in Ifa's teachings about elders. That is the ONLY reason. In truth he isn't the only father figure that has disappointed, hurt, or left me.
When I was little we had a pastor that was SO spiritually connected. I still remember much of what he did and taught. He went to another church. Then came another one that was SUCH a father type, and he got moved to another church too. I went the military and got out. When I got out I met some people that introduced me to a babalawo, and long story short, he didn't see that he was a father figure and tried to be a lover instead. In my young adult years I grew close to a family friend and he did what my father didn't. I don't think I've ever loved a man like that. He both corrected me and made sure that I KNEW I was loved. About the time I met my husband he died suddenly. He took my heart and all hope of having a father with him. At his funeral, my father stood and acknowledged that Uncle Eddie had been more of a father to me than he ever had. That was a dark time in my life. I didn't think I was going to make it, but Osun was kind. She's sent my husband. My healing began. He has given me safety, security, and love.
I still have a very difficult time with men in authority positions. I don't like to humble myself to them. I don't fully trust them. I expect they will disappoint, hurt, or violate me. In the meanwhile, Osun has been merciful. She has surrounded me with more mother's and sisters than I know what to do with. I have learned know to just allow myself to be healed. There are two men that I hold close, my Obatala husband and my Esu Baba.
I'll stop here, because as of now this story has no end. I'm just learning to get stuff off my chest. I'm a healer in need of healing. I'm on a path of my choosing and I won't punk out of walking it well.
My father is alive and in my life. We lack connection, because of him not knowing how to be a father when I needed one. I have probably covered this before so I won't go back over it. The reason that we are able to interact peacefully at this point is due to my belief in Ifa's teachings about elders. That is the ONLY reason. In truth he isn't the only father figure that has disappointed, hurt, or left me.
When I was little we had a pastor that was SO spiritually connected. I still remember much of what he did and taught. He went to another church. Then came another one that was SUCH a father type, and he got moved to another church too. I went the military and got out. When I got out I met some people that introduced me to a babalawo, and long story short, he didn't see that he was a father figure and tried to be a lover instead. In my young adult years I grew close to a family friend and he did what my father didn't. I don't think I've ever loved a man like that. He both corrected me and made sure that I KNEW I was loved. About the time I met my husband he died suddenly. He took my heart and all hope of having a father with him. At his funeral, my father stood and acknowledged that Uncle Eddie had been more of a father to me than he ever had. That was a dark time in my life. I didn't think I was going to make it, but Osun was kind. She's sent my husband. My healing began. He has given me safety, security, and love.
I still have a very difficult time with men in authority positions. I don't like to humble myself to them. I don't fully trust them. I expect they will disappoint, hurt, or violate me. In the meanwhile, Osun has been merciful. She has surrounded me with more mother's and sisters than I know what to do with. I have learned know to just allow myself to be healed. There are two men that I hold close, my Obatala husband and my Esu Baba.
I'll stop here, because as of now this story has no end. I'm just learning to get stuff off my chest. I'm a healer in need of healing. I'm on a path of my choosing and I won't punk out of walking it well.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Rough Day & Smooth 'Tude
Today was lil rough. It was filled with issues.
- I had a lil interpersonal issue this morning.
- I was sore from yoga yesterday.
- I threw up all over the floor in the hallway of the yoga studio.
- I didn't get to finish yoga, which was my intention for the day.
- I paid my phone bill and the payment apparently didn't go through.
- They turned my phone off.
- When I walked in the door covered in vomit, my husband told me about my phone.
- He wanted me to stand there while he called to figure out what was wrong (he didn't see the nastiness somehow) .
- I felt queasy and my throat was burning so I couldn't eat.
- I was so tired I had to take a nap.
- I took a nap and was still tired.
- I got a migraine while at my daughter's practice.
- I couldn't read the magazine I brought, because I couldn't see, because of the migraine.
- My painless blinding headache turned painful.
Today was a lil rough. It was filled with issues that I handled with good character.
- I was wise as a serpent and sweet as honey.
- I did what I could to stretch and felt better.
- I cleaned it up, apologized, and am going back tomorrow...with a change of clothes.
- I leave today for today, and take tomorrow as it comes.
- I paid it again and was grateful that I had the money to do so.
- They turned it back on immediately and I made my phone calls.
- Thankfully I am vegan so the vomit didn't stink.
- I listened to him and was patient.
- I listened to my body and didn't eat.
- I am grateful that my daughter watched the bonus babies and I was able to nap.
- I was grateful that the only issue I had was being tired.
- I laughed and played with the children, but just a little less.
- I enjoyed watching the children play and listening to them talk instead of reading a stupid magazine.
- I enjoyed a relatively quiet ride home, and was thankful for my life.
Although sometimes things don't go the way we think they should, we can make MAJOR changes just by changing our attitudes.
If you want to change your life, change your character.
~Oworin Meji
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Truth is Slippery Slope
I met a beautiful soul yesterday. She came for a consultation about her hair, but of course that meandered into other topics. We discussed ways for her to improve her health and lose weight so that she could fit in the wedding dress of her dreams and help her husband-to-be to get on a healthier path. Then we got on one of my favorite topics.
She told me that she had recently been told by her very devoutly Christian fiance that Christmas didn't really have anything to do with Christ, showed her the scripture that speaks against having an "adorned" tree, and also told her of the "Pagan" roots of most Christian holidays. I sat almost having to physically hold myself down, because I love when people start down these types of paths. I know that if they continue that their may be tears, disappointment, and anger but at the end of it there will be a true salvation and awakening. I decided to just stay on the topic that she brought up as not to push to hard or fast. Then she said it! She said, "I just think that my pastor should have taught on this! We don't celebrate holidays at our church, but I think people need to know why. They need to teach us the truth!" Trying to hold my excitement, I calmly explained about truth being a slippery slope in this instance. Most people don't go to church to hear the truth. They go to be soothed from some painful something that has taken over their lives. Why do I say this? Simple. I say this because if you want to study the truth you will look any and everywhere for it, you won't limit yourself to one book, and you will seek it no matter what the cost. I explained that if her pastor started to give them whole truths, then they would start to seek and think, if they started to seek and think, they may realize that much of what they do is solely for the maintenance of the Pastoral lifestyle and based in fear rather than being for the love of God. They may also find that patriarchal beliefs tend to based in fear and control and thus will only take you so far, because to do anything beyond that will debase all that keeps you bound. I so wanted to get into a deep conversation with her, but I didn't want to freak her out, so I'll save that conversation for my cipher sistas and our wine. Instead I nonchalantly added the book Pagan Christianity to her book list.
When she was leaving I told her that I was excited about her path no matter where it takes her. I so enjoyed her company and am so happy that she was excited about all she left equipped to do. I can't wait to hear from her. You don't have to change the world, just love from the love you've been given and teach from what you have learned.
She told me that she had recently been told by her very devoutly Christian fiance that Christmas didn't really have anything to do with Christ, showed her the scripture that speaks against having an "adorned" tree, and also told her of the "Pagan" roots of most Christian holidays. I sat almost having to physically hold myself down, because I love when people start down these types of paths. I know that if they continue that their may be tears, disappointment, and anger but at the end of it there will be a true salvation and awakening. I decided to just stay on the topic that she brought up as not to push to hard or fast. Then she said it! She said, "I just think that my pastor should have taught on this! We don't celebrate holidays at our church, but I think people need to know why. They need to teach us the truth!" Trying to hold my excitement, I calmly explained about truth being a slippery slope in this instance. Most people don't go to church to hear the truth. They go to be soothed from some painful something that has taken over their lives. Why do I say this? Simple. I say this because if you want to study the truth you will look any and everywhere for it, you won't limit yourself to one book, and you will seek it no matter what the cost. I explained that if her pastor started to give them whole truths, then they would start to seek and think, if they started to seek and think, they may realize that much of what they do is solely for the maintenance of the Pastoral lifestyle and based in fear rather than being for the love of God. They may also find that patriarchal beliefs tend to based in fear and control and thus will only take you so far, because to do anything beyond that will debase all that keeps you bound. I so wanted to get into a deep conversation with her, but I didn't want to freak her out, so I'll save that conversation for my cipher sistas and our wine. Instead I nonchalantly added the book Pagan Christianity to her book list.
When she was leaving I told her that I was excited about her path no matter where it takes her. I so enjoyed her company and am so happy that she was excited about all she left equipped to do. I can't wait to hear from her. You don't have to change the world, just love from the love you've been given and teach from what you have learned.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Life Lessons...
Hurt feelings: Every month we have a movie night. We have a WONDERFUL time. I mean it is perfection. We watch cerebral African-centered movies or lectures, our children play together, we eat, and we eat some of the best vegan and vegetarian food you have EVER had. I look forward to it every month. Well, this month everything just went wrong that day. The vibration in my house was just wrong. I remember all I keep yearning for was sage. It was like sage was going to set everything right with the world. Needless to say, I didn't have any charcoal. Long story short, out of 8 people 1 person showed up. I was crushed. I had considered canceling anyway, because my day was already jacked up but I didn't want anyone to be disappointed. I didn't want to let anybody down, so imagine how let down I felt. This doesn't seem like such a big deal now, but I was genuinely hurt that day.
How could I have avoided all of that drama? I could have gone with my first thoughts and paid attention to what my intuition and vibration were telling me. When I was feeling like the vibration in my house was "off" I should have saged to see if that would have helped. I don't even cook while angry, so why would I invite people into a house where they usually find peace and comfort and have them be met with bad energy instead. If the sage hadn't worked then I should have canceled. The truth of it is that people are not nearly as dependent on my as I like to think they are. Nobody would have been in tears if I had canceled. They would have understood. I also learned that it's okay if I need a break from something. It's okay if I'm too tire and worn out. What will the movie night cipher say at my funeral if I run myself ragged? "Well, she never canceled movie night and that's why we loved her." No, because that is not important. I have learned that while it's okay to want the best for those I love, I can't offer them my best if I'm sick, tired, or worn-the-hell-out.
Importance of Sisterhood: We had a sista cipher once. Prior to that, about a year or two ago, I was one of those women that thought other women were catty, backbiting, and impossible to deal with. I had a true and abiding dislike for women. As I have traveled this road I have learned that the feelings that I thought were aimed at "those women" were really aimed at myself. Dr. Phil said it best. When you focus in on something that you can't stand about a person just say, "There is something about you that I don't like in myself." That was exactly it. Anyway, we had the cipher and it was supposed to be a meeting, but as women so often do, we all pulled what we needed. It was beautiful and for the first time I realized that Sistahood is of the utmost importance. We talked about all kinds of things and it felt good. I was safe. I could cry without being judged. I could be healed rather than trying to do all of the healing. We are going to do it again, but this time with wine. lol I love them, because they are my sistas. We don't talk all the time and I don't think we need to, but we are there when it's important to share tissues, hugs, wisdom, laughter, stories, and wine.
How could I have avoided all of that drama? I could have gone with my first thoughts and paid attention to what my intuition and vibration were telling me. When I was feeling like the vibration in my house was "off" I should have saged to see if that would have helped. I don't even cook while angry, so why would I invite people into a house where they usually find peace and comfort and have them be met with bad energy instead. If the sage hadn't worked then I should have canceled. The truth of it is that people are not nearly as dependent on my as I like to think they are. Nobody would have been in tears if I had canceled. They would have understood. I also learned that it's okay if I need a break from something. It's okay if I'm too tire and worn out. What will the movie night cipher say at my funeral if I run myself ragged? "Well, she never canceled movie night and that's why we loved her." No, because that is not important. I have learned that while it's okay to want the best for those I love, I can't offer them my best if I'm sick, tired, or worn-the-hell-out.
Importance of Sisterhood: We had a sista cipher once. Prior to that, about a year or two ago, I was one of those women that thought other women were catty, backbiting, and impossible to deal with. I had a true and abiding dislike for women. As I have traveled this road I have learned that the feelings that I thought were aimed at "those women" were really aimed at myself. Dr. Phil said it best. When you focus in on something that you can't stand about a person just say, "There is something about you that I don't like in myself." That was exactly it. Anyway, we had the cipher and it was supposed to be a meeting, but as women so often do, we all pulled what we needed. It was beautiful and for the first time I realized that Sistahood is of the utmost importance. We talked about all kinds of things and it felt good. I was safe. I could cry without being judged. I could be healed rather than trying to do all of the healing. We are going to do it again, but this time with wine. lol I love them, because they are my sistas. We don't talk all the time and I don't think we need to, but we are there when it's important to share tissues, hugs, wisdom, laughter, stories, and wine.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Short and Sweet
Don't be scared to move forward. If you stand there frozen with fear and continue to do what's comfortable, don't blame anyone or anything else for your not achieving your goals.
"When you pray, move your feet." African Proverb (a future tattoo too btw.)
So I'm off of FB again. Why? Because I got shit to do. I need to move forward and live my dream. This is the second time I've started working toward my goal and simply put, I punked out. I had everything ready to go and got scared. Scared of what? I don't know. Scared of being rejected, scared of failure, scared everybody would hate it, scared of success. Just scared. Every big successful jump I've made in my life was preceded by a gut wrenching fear that kept me from proceeding for a while. This time, I'm going to move forward. I mean yes this is my second time around, but I'm not going to sit here and wallow in my fear forever like I normally do.
I'm going to pray AND move my feet.
"When you pray, move your feet." African Proverb (a future tattoo too btw.)
So I'm off of FB again. Why? Because I got shit to do. I need to move forward and live my dream. This is the second time I've started working toward my goal and simply put, I punked out. I had everything ready to go and got scared. Scared of what? I don't know. Scared of being rejected, scared of failure, scared everybody would hate it, scared of success. Just scared. Every big successful jump I've made in my life was preceded by a gut wrenching fear that kept me from proceeding for a while. This time, I'm going to move forward. I mean yes this is my second time around, but I'm not going to sit here and wallow in my fear forever like I normally do.
I'm going to pray AND move my feet.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Hardwork, Emotional Rollercoaster, & Sister Circle
Ore Yeye o!
So yesterday was such a strange day. First of all I worked 10 hours with no break. When I looked at my schedule the day before I thought, "What the hell did I do to myself?" Osun was with me and not only gave me quick hands and creativity in the midst of being tired, hungry, and getting in a lil misunderstanding with my husband. I am SO grateful, because I was able to pack 2 days of work into 1 day. I was also VERY bless to have a lot of my favorite clients in one day.
So I made mention of a lil misunderstanding with my husband. Of course I won't be giving details, because we both got pretty stank about the whole thing, but there is a lesson that I want to share. I have a less then stellar relationship with my father. Through the teachings of Ifa, Iya, and Yeye I have been able to behave in a way that makes our relationship easier. I know how to handle situations that use to turn ugly with respect. Anyway, in the recent past I had issues with viewing the relationship between my husband and daughter through the lens of my father and myself. I would often take up for her when she was wrong, because I would see her as a victim of a male chauvinist, which my husband is not. She was getting away with emotional and behavioral murder. My husband and I sat down, discussed it, and I decided to trust him and stay out of that lane. He is a good father and hasn't shown any signs of being like my father. Yesterday I heard half of an exchange between them and said something to my husband when I should have waited until later when I wasn't busy. Needless to say, it didn't go well. The lesson is if I had kept my promise and chosen my time to address the situation wisely, we wouldn't have had such a nasty situation. It ended well, because we both saw areas that we need to work on.
Osun ended as she began with showing herself to be a gracious mother. I had a meeting planned to discuss my rites of passage program. 3 women came out to support the effort. It started off with me talking about the different aspects of the program, but in true feminine form it morphed and changed like water. We started talking about our lives past, present, and future. I learned so much about them and myself. I learned how much I need women. I learned how much I need to have my own interests, take time to myself, and find out what types of things I like to do. All these things my sound really selfish, except for the fact that I have a martyrdom complex of some sort. Focusing on myself will actually bring some much needed balance. I don't know how it's going to go, because I have tried in the past and it hasn't gone very well thanks to feelings of guilt. Such is life, we keep trying to get it right until our time here is done.
So yesterday was such a strange day. First of all I worked 10 hours with no break. When I looked at my schedule the day before I thought, "What the hell did I do to myself?" Osun was with me and not only gave me quick hands and creativity in the midst of being tired, hungry, and getting in a lil misunderstanding with my husband. I am SO grateful, because I was able to pack 2 days of work into 1 day. I was also VERY bless to have a lot of my favorite clients in one day.
So I made mention of a lil misunderstanding with my husband. Of course I won't be giving details, because we both got pretty stank about the whole thing, but there is a lesson that I want to share. I have a less then stellar relationship with my father. Through the teachings of Ifa, Iya, and Yeye I have been able to behave in a way that makes our relationship easier. I know how to handle situations that use to turn ugly with respect. Anyway, in the recent past I had issues with viewing the relationship between my husband and daughter through the lens of my father and myself. I would often take up for her when she was wrong, because I would see her as a victim of a male chauvinist, which my husband is not. She was getting away with emotional and behavioral murder. My husband and I sat down, discussed it, and I decided to trust him and stay out of that lane. He is a good father and hasn't shown any signs of being like my father. Yesterday I heard half of an exchange between them and said something to my husband when I should have waited until later when I wasn't busy. Needless to say, it didn't go well. The lesson is if I had kept my promise and chosen my time to address the situation wisely, we wouldn't have had such a nasty situation. It ended well, because we both saw areas that we need to work on.
Osun ended as she began with showing herself to be a gracious mother. I had a meeting planned to discuss my rites of passage program. 3 women came out to support the effort. It started off with me talking about the different aspects of the program, but in true feminine form it morphed and changed like water. We started talking about our lives past, present, and future. I learned so much about them and myself. I learned how much I need women. I learned how much I need to have my own interests, take time to myself, and find out what types of things I like to do. All these things my sound really selfish, except for the fact that I have a martyrdom complex of some sort. Focusing on myself will actually bring some much needed balance. I don't know how it's going to go, because I have tried in the past and it hasn't gone very well thanks to feelings of guilt. Such is life, we keep trying to get it right until our time here is done.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
New Order eindianhair.com (Buy 1 Get 1 Free)
1.Why is youtube featuring this everytime I look at a natural hair vid?
2. Why do we hate our own hair so much?
3. Why did she say "look-did"?
4. Why do I have to write this here because although she said we could comment the comment section has been disabled.
5. Why do we not AT LEAST own the weave shops?
This is hair the women in India have shaved off their heads in sacrifice to a deity and then some dude takes their sacred sacrifice and makes money off of it. Sistas, we are so beautiful NATURALLY. Let the weave go. This has become, imho, a psychological issue at this point. God bless the child that's got her own...
2. Why do we hate our own hair so much?
3. Why did she say "look-did"?
4. Why do I have to write this here because although she said we could comment the comment section has been disabled.
5. Why do we not AT LEAST own the weave shops?
This is hair the women in India have shaved off their heads in sacrifice to a deity and then some dude takes their sacred sacrifice and makes money off of it. Sistas, we are so beautiful NATURALLY. Let the weave go. This has become, imho, a psychological issue at this point. God bless the child that's got her own...
Random thought #2
Telling the intimacies of your culture (religion) to the outsider is like lifting your skirt and showing your mysteries. #Spiritualwhoredom
Monday, April 16, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Updates...
We've had a lot going on, some light and some dark, but such is life. The point is that we made and are making it.
I don't talk about my marriage much, because it's my marriage, but I want to share something today. I have a very strong personality. It has been molded by many occurrences in my life. Sometimes, with those that I love/tend to, I can be a little controlling. I have improved with my children and have learned that they are different--they are individuals. Though they came from me, they are not me. Though they are mine, they are themselves. So I have that aspect pretty much down. I am learning what to correct and what to let go. I'm learning what is "attitude" or rebellion and what is personality and a need for independence.
Now, why is it that I wasn't able to afford my husband, a grown ass man, the same peace and freedom? For whatever reason I would try to strong arm him into doing things the way I think they should be done. Needless to say, this has caused some major clashes. At first, couldn't understand what his problem was. Why didn't he just do what I said? I mean, hell, I'm right at least 99.9% of the time. Makes sense right? No. It doesn't. I can offer advice, but I cannot force my way on another human being--another ADULT. There are a lot of reasons I could offer on why I behaved this way, and most people would say that they understand, but that doesn't excuse it. He has to be allowed to learn from and make his own mistakes AND achieve things on his own and to his own credit.
As you know, I am a omo Osun and Olamide is omo Obatala. It has taken me a while and a lot of teaching from Iya to really understand what Obatala's energy in his children can be like. They are thinkers. They MUST process EVERYTHING. I'm very quick and decisive. I doesn't take me long to figure what needs to happen. One is no better than the other. When we are appreciative of the other's energy we balance each other VERY well, otherwise it can get a little thorny. Now understand, it's not that I'm always impatient all the time. Sometimes I just hate to watch what imbalanced over-thinking does to him. If something goes wrong from him, he has to process through it which usually means rotating the negative occurrence repeatedly. I know that it is something that he needs to do, but I want to save him.
Basically, we chose our Ori. This means that we are equipped and required to handle our development and elevation. We are also expected help others, but we are expect/required to exercise iwa pele. This means that we are not to impose ourselves on others. We all own roads to travel.
I love my husband now in a way I don't think I did previously. I love him for him. With and without his faults, because he is equipped to work through and learn from those faults.
I don't talk about my marriage much, because it's my marriage, but I want to share something today. I have a very strong personality. It has been molded by many occurrences in my life. Sometimes, with those that I love/tend to, I can be a little controlling. I have improved with my children and have learned that they are different--they are individuals. Though they came from me, they are not me. Though they are mine, they are themselves. So I have that aspect pretty much down. I am learning what to correct and what to let go. I'm learning what is "attitude" or rebellion and what is personality and a need for independence.
Now, why is it that I wasn't able to afford my husband, a grown ass man, the same peace and freedom? For whatever reason I would try to strong arm him into doing things the way I think they should be done. Needless to say, this has caused some major clashes. At first, couldn't understand what his problem was. Why didn't he just do what I said? I mean, hell, I'm right at least 99.9% of the time. Makes sense right? No. It doesn't. I can offer advice, but I cannot force my way on another human being--another ADULT. There are a lot of reasons I could offer on why I behaved this way, and most people would say that they understand, but that doesn't excuse it. He has to be allowed to learn from and make his own mistakes AND achieve things on his own and to his own credit.
As you know, I am a omo Osun and Olamide is omo Obatala. It has taken me a while and a lot of teaching from Iya to really understand what Obatala's energy in his children can be like. They are thinkers. They MUST process EVERYTHING. I'm very quick and decisive. I doesn't take me long to figure what needs to happen. One is no better than the other. When we are appreciative of the other's energy we balance each other VERY well, otherwise it can get a little thorny. Now understand, it's not that I'm always impatient all the time. Sometimes I just hate to watch what imbalanced over-thinking does to him. If something goes wrong from him, he has to process through it which usually means rotating the negative occurrence repeatedly. I know that it is something that he needs to do, but I want to save him.
Basically, we chose our Ori. This means that we are equipped and required to handle our development and elevation. We are also expected help others, but we are expect/required to exercise iwa pele. This means that we are not to impose ourselves on others. We all own roads to travel.
I love my husband now in a way I don't think I did previously. I love him for him. With and without his faults, because he is equipped to work through and learn from those faults.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Religion vs. Spirituality vs. Culture
Religion vs Spirituality
What is religion?
I've been wanting to cover this for a while, because people always talk about religion like it's a dirty word. You can look it up for yourself, but this is it in a nutshell. When someone has a religion it is simply a way of doing things the same way all the time according to the requirements of that belief system. For example, I wake up and pray to Olodumare and Ori. After that I go work out and clean up and then I complete the rest of my prayers in a very precise and consistent order every single morning. Most of my prayers are recitations that were given to me or suggested to me by my godmother.
What is spirituality?
Now, this is more my opinion than fact. Spirituality is more based on intuition. Rather than sticking to hard fast rules you follow your Ori. It's like tailoring your practice to you. For example, my husband and I go through our prayers in the same order, pray the same prayers, but we add different things that are unique to us as individuals. Why do we do things differently? Because at some point we felt that we were being guided to do so. For example, he has this whole set up he does with Esu to make sure that Esu is not missing out on any offerings. I make sure that Esu isn't missing out on offerings either, but mine isn't nearly as time consuming as my husband's is. Sometimes, I still takes things to the crossroads for Esu and I feel like I should kunle or kneel. For my husband, he's a little concerned with the neighbors being nosy. Nothing is wrong with either one, because we are doing things as we have been led to.
How to you mix religion and spirituality?
We were talking to our children the other day about the fact that Jesus did Jewish things because he was a Jew. We told them about my husband's friend who is a Christian and practices Jewish Holy Days although he CLEARLY of Afrikan descent. Jews generally would not welcome or expect someone of Afrikan descent to practice their Holy Days. Why? Simple. He ain't Jewish. Furthermore, why would a CHRISTIAN practice JEWISH Holy Days? Because the Christian is of Afrikan descent and hates all things Afrikan so he will go to the extreme to assimilate to cultures that look most like massa. As we talked to the children, we told them that no matter what religion the grew up and practiced there was one thing that BETTER be in their houses. They had BETTER have an Egun shrine. Why? Because we are Afrikan and that's what we do. We stay connected to our past. We seek out that wisdom. We know and acknowledge that the Egun gave birth to us all.
The truth is that religion and spirituality are and have always been mixed. One really doesn't seem to do well without the other. One is about dicipline and one is about intutition. When you mix them together, you get what has become distant memory for most Afrikans. It's call culture.
What is culture?
Marimba Ani says that culture:
Brings us from chaos to order
Binds us to each other
Gives us identity
Gives us a reason for surviving
Tells us who we should live for
Tells us who we should die for if necessary
It's an energy source for thriving
Gives us a sense of security
Puts us into a system of accountability, we are accountable to our ancestors
It reproduces what it is.
It's the way we protect ourselves
It's the immune system of a people
Culture is the wholistic view of ourselves. It involves ALL that we do. It determines what we eat, when we sleep, how we interact with each other, how we raise our children, and even the languages that speak as children and the ones that we later learn. So in short, culture is the point at which our religious and spiritual practices flow into our everyday lives. It's hearing our Godmother ask about and respect food taboos of the people she is cooking for and it's about us respecting the taboos of her house. It's the reason that we teach our children Yoruba language rather than Spanish. The truth is that learning Spanish is simply learning another language of the conqueror that slaughtered yet another group of people that were living at one with God and nature. Of course, that's another post for another day. Culture, is setting food aside for your Egun or cooking just for them. Giving a special them space in your house to keep them close to you. Culture is teaching your children to always respect elders, because there is wisdom to be gained simply from their years on this earth. For us, it's learning our connections to the elements in order to show respect and reject the destruction of Onile. Culture is all these things and more.
The truth is that I shouldn't have titled this "Religion vs. Spirituality vs. Culture" as these things are not in conflict with each other. They are as they should be. They are complements that produce the whole. They aren't to be compartmentalized as that is a Eurocentric view and that is not of us. We are whole beings, not broken, and not intended to be in constant conflict.
What is religion?
I've been wanting to cover this for a while, because people always talk about religion like it's a dirty word. You can look it up for yourself, but this is it in a nutshell. When someone has a religion it is simply a way of doing things the same way all the time according to the requirements of that belief system. For example, I wake up and pray to Olodumare and Ori. After that I go work out and clean up and then I complete the rest of my prayers in a very precise and consistent order every single morning. Most of my prayers are recitations that were given to me or suggested to me by my godmother.
What is spirituality?
Now, this is more my opinion than fact. Spirituality is more based on intuition. Rather than sticking to hard fast rules you follow your Ori. It's like tailoring your practice to you. For example, my husband and I go through our prayers in the same order, pray the same prayers, but we add different things that are unique to us as individuals. Why do we do things differently? Because at some point we felt that we were being guided to do so. For example, he has this whole set up he does with Esu to make sure that Esu is not missing out on any offerings. I make sure that Esu isn't missing out on offerings either, but mine isn't nearly as time consuming as my husband's is. Sometimes, I still takes things to the crossroads for Esu and I feel like I should kunle or kneel. For my husband, he's a little concerned with the neighbors being nosy. Nothing is wrong with either one, because we are doing things as we have been led to.
How to you mix religion and spirituality?
We were talking to our children the other day about the fact that Jesus did Jewish things because he was a Jew. We told them about my husband's friend who is a Christian and practices Jewish Holy Days although he CLEARLY of Afrikan descent. Jews generally would not welcome or expect someone of Afrikan descent to practice their Holy Days. Why? Simple. He ain't Jewish. Furthermore, why would a CHRISTIAN practice JEWISH Holy Days? Because the Christian is of Afrikan descent and hates all things Afrikan so he will go to the extreme to assimilate to cultures that look most like massa. As we talked to the children, we told them that no matter what religion the grew up and practiced there was one thing that BETTER be in their houses. They had BETTER have an Egun shrine. Why? Because we are Afrikan and that's what we do. We stay connected to our past. We seek out that wisdom. We know and acknowledge that the Egun gave birth to us all.
The truth is that religion and spirituality are and have always been mixed. One really doesn't seem to do well without the other. One is about dicipline and one is about intutition. When you mix them together, you get what has become distant memory for most Afrikans. It's call culture.
What is culture?
Marimba Ani says that culture:
Brings us from chaos to order
Binds us to each other
Gives us identity
Gives us a reason for surviving
Tells us who we should live for
Tells us who we should die for if necessary
It's an energy source for thriving
Gives us a sense of security
Puts us into a system of accountability, we are accountable to our ancestors
It reproduces what it is.
It's the way we protect ourselves
It's the immune system of a people
Culture is the wholistic view of ourselves. It involves ALL that we do. It determines what we eat, when we sleep, how we interact with each other, how we raise our children, and even the languages that speak as children and the ones that we later learn. So in short, culture is the point at which our religious and spiritual practices flow into our everyday lives. It's hearing our Godmother ask about and respect food taboos of the people she is cooking for and it's about us respecting the taboos of her house. It's the reason that we teach our children Yoruba language rather than Spanish. The truth is that learning Spanish is simply learning another language of the conqueror that slaughtered yet another group of people that were living at one with God and nature. Of course, that's another post for another day. Culture, is setting food aside for your Egun or cooking just for them. Giving a special them space in your house to keep them close to you. Culture is teaching your children to always respect elders, because there is wisdom to be gained simply from their years on this earth. For us, it's learning our connections to the elements in order to show respect and reject the destruction of Onile. Culture is all these things and more.
The truth is that I shouldn't have titled this "Religion vs. Spirituality vs. Culture" as these things are not in conflict with each other. They are as they should be. They are complements that produce the whole. They aren't to be compartmentalized as that is a Eurocentric view and that is not of us. We are whole beings, not broken, and not intended to be in constant conflict.
Friday, February 3, 2012
This has been a f***ed up a** day!
This has been one of those days when you think, "You know? I should've stayed in the damn bed!"
I woke up really dizzy. My children weren't exactly what you'd call "on task", which was really stupid because today was a reading day! I keep tripping and almost falling and lawd knows I'm too old to be fallin'. Went to the store and got everything except what I went for and had to go right back in. While preparing lunch I pinched my hand in the garlic crusher AND broke the crusher. Then my husband was on the phone during lunch (that's a "hell naw" in my abode). I was whipping some shea butter and tried to melt the last bit off the sides of the pot to add to my own batch and caught my new pot on fire! When I tried to say that this wasn't a good day for me, my husband wants to be all "kosi ofo" which I wasn't trying to hear. Then I realized that I mixed up one of my standing appointments.
What did I learn?
1. Esu is good at his job.
2. Get up slowly when cleansing to avoid dizziness.
3. Part of the freedom of homeschooling is being able to have "off days".
4. Pay attention when you are walking
5. Make a list since you know that you don't ever remember everything at the store without one
6. When you see your METAL garlic press snap, don't try to use it anyway...or you might pinch your hand.
7. Let your husband talk on the phone during lunch and just handle it the way Osun did...with honey and ase.
8. It's a metal pot. Get over it and use some elbow grease to clean it, because you are too cheap to throw it away.
9. My husband loves me, even when he doesn't say the right things. His heart always feels the right things.
10. When you are your own boss, shit happens. Wipe the shit up and clean it up really well with bleach.
Somethings we can control. Somethings we can't. Orun is our home. Aiye is the market place. I'm just here to learn what I need and get what I can in order to escape the wheel of reincarnation when Olodumare finds me worthy. For the first time. I really understand what that means. For the first time, it spoke to my heart. Ase. Ase. Ase o!
I woke up really dizzy. My children weren't exactly what you'd call "on task", which was really stupid because today was a reading day! I keep tripping and almost falling and lawd knows I'm too old to be fallin'. Went to the store and got everything except what I went for and had to go right back in. While preparing lunch I pinched my hand in the garlic crusher AND broke the crusher. Then my husband was on the phone during lunch (that's a "hell naw" in my abode). I was whipping some shea butter and tried to melt the last bit off the sides of the pot to add to my own batch and caught my new pot on fire! When I tried to say that this wasn't a good day for me, my husband wants to be all "kosi ofo" which I wasn't trying to hear. Then I realized that I mixed up one of my standing appointments.
What did I learn?
1. Esu is good at his job.
2. Get up slowly when cleansing to avoid dizziness.
3. Part of the freedom of homeschooling is being able to have "off days".
4. Pay attention when you are walking
5. Make a list since you know that you don't ever remember everything at the store without one
6. When you see your METAL garlic press snap, don't try to use it anyway...or you might pinch your hand.
7. Let your husband talk on the phone during lunch and just handle it the way Osun did...with honey and ase.
8. It's a metal pot. Get over it and use some elbow grease to clean it, because you are too cheap to throw it away.
9. My husband loves me, even when he doesn't say the right things. His heart always feels the right things.
10. When you are your own boss, shit happens. Wipe the shit up and clean it up really well with bleach.
Somethings we can control. Somethings we can't. Orun is our home. Aiye is the market place. I'm just here to learn what I need and get what I can in order to escape the wheel of reincarnation when Olodumare finds me worthy. For the first time. I really understand what that means. For the first time, it spoke to my heart. Ase. Ase. Ase o!
 |
| My injury that was inflicted by my garlic press... |
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Define Yourself, Name Yourself, Create for Youself...
Kujichagulia-To define ourselves, name ourselves, speak for ourselves instead of being defined, names, or created for by others.
I have been discussing this with omo mi quite a bit lately. Today I asked them what they would name themselves when given the chance. It was really interesting and let me get to know them a bit better. It let me see how they see themselves.
I have also met, been talking to, and learning from a wonderful Sista named Aza Adeyemi Shukura. We were talking about her name change at a meeting we were having. She simply stated that she changed her name, it was a choice, and that people call her that. The unspoken part was that they call her Aza because she isn't going to answer to anything else. I mean, she is sweet as she can be, but she is more like sweet chili paste, because she has quite a bit of heat to her also. I asked her this morning if she had "legally" changed her name. She basically said that she wasn't interested in having her name on any government documents. This made me really begin to think about this whole name thing.
My name is Ifasayo (Ifa begets joy) Morenike (I have found one to pet) Egunjobi (The ancestors gave birth to us all). I love my names. I mean I really love my names. They are perfect for me. I received the second and third first by way of a roots reading and the first came when I received my first hand of Ifa.
For some reason I never considered the part about the freedom to name ourselves during the 10 years we've celebrated Kwanzaa. It's amazing that it didn't cross my mind in the least. It's one of those things that people say, but I don't think that they really expect anyone to utilize it. Why don't I ever introduce myself to people as Ifasayo or 'Fasayo even though I almost stumble when I state the name I was welcomed to this earth with. I have decided that I am going to change that. I will be Ifasayo--well I am and have always been Ifasayo, but I will start introducing myself as such because that's who I am. I guess this will probably also hasten the discovery of my real life to my mother. Nope...she hasn't said anything.
Btw, I've been invited to speak at a women's conference at a church. LOL I really gotta come out of this closet. I'm starting to feel somewhat schizophrenia.
I have been discussing this with omo mi quite a bit lately. Today I asked them what they would name themselves when given the chance. It was really interesting and let me get to know them a bit better. It let me see how they see themselves.
I have also met, been talking to, and learning from a wonderful Sista named Aza Adeyemi Shukura. We were talking about her name change at a meeting we were having. She simply stated that she changed her name, it was a choice, and that people call her that. The unspoken part was that they call her Aza because she isn't going to answer to anything else. I mean, she is sweet as she can be, but she is more like sweet chili paste, because she has quite a bit of heat to her also. I asked her this morning if she had "legally" changed her name. She basically said that she wasn't interested in having her name on any government documents. This made me really begin to think about this whole name thing.
My name is Ifasayo (Ifa begets joy) Morenike (I have found one to pet) Egunjobi (The ancestors gave birth to us all). I love my names. I mean I really love my names. They are perfect for me. I received the second and third first by way of a roots reading and the first came when I received my first hand of Ifa.
For some reason I never considered the part about the freedom to name ourselves during the 10 years we've celebrated Kwanzaa. It's amazing that it didn't cross my mind in the least. It's one of those things that people say, but I don't think that they really expect anyone to utilize it. Why don't I ever introduce myself to people as Ifasayo or 'Fasayo even though I almost stumble when I state the name I was welcomed to this earth with. I have decided that I am going to change that. I will be Ifasayo--well I am and have always been Ifasayo, but I will start introducing myself as such because that's who I am. I guess this will probably also hasten the discovery of my real life to my mother. Nope...she hasn't said anything.
Btw, I've been invited to speak at a women's conference at a church. LOL I really gotta come out of this closet. I'm starting to feel somewhat schizophrenia.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
