Dreaming again...

So, I used to dream these really vivid dreams when I was young. Sometimes they were  scary, sometimes warnings, sometimes really pleasant, and sometimes they were just neutral like my regular life. Some of the church folk I grew up around little by little taught me not to trust myself (ori) or my dreams (don't know who helps out with dreams). They would say it with glances of disbelief, "awww, that doesn't mean anything", or "That's the devil talking to you, don't answer!". Whatever the case I learned to ignore the various ways Spirit tried to speak. I learned to sleep with the television on, the radio on, or even sleep in something uncomfortable if the dreams had been scary.

Fast forward

I'd gone to Miami to stay for 2 weeks with a Babalawo, which you've probably seen me mention in other posts. When I was there, I was back to my old dreaming vision having self. It was so exciting. It was like a paralyzed person being able to get up and run again! Then eventually I went back to church. At first it was okay because the new pastor believed in all that stuff. She didn't try to control it or suppress it. It was cool. Then what always happens around me happened again. She changed. She wanted to control me. She didn't want to really teach me anymore, she just wanted me to sit, be quiet, and not say anything to anybody about anything. Even if I felt, deeply, like I was supposed to. No reason given. Anyhoo, so I started using my tactics to suppress the dreams and visions the best way I could. At first it wasn't working, but eventually it did. By the time I saw her for what she was and saw the construct of the institutionalized church for what it was, it was too late. I'd put an entire side of myself to sleep. I was a walking spiritual zombie.

Fast forward

Ifa has pulled me in. I'm settling in. I had a bump in the road, but I'm still here. It's a beautiful path and I'm happy. The one problem? I'm not really dreaming and not having ANY visions. Talked to Iya about it, and she's encouraging and teaching me. Slowly the dreams start to come back. I'd forgotten that when I was *ignorantly practicing Ifa before that the dreams had become really physical. Like I was simply living my life in two different realms. If I got hurt in one realm I had bruise or sore in this realm. Well, I have been reminded of this recently. I haven't gotten hurt in a dream yet, but I have gotten shocked in a dream only to wake up still feeling the affects, and I have gotten up with skin sensitivity issues from strong energies being literally thrown at me. So all that to say that I do feel as though dreams are real. Real in the sense that because deep sleep is so close to death, we are able to leave our bodies and go to other realms. I'm so past caring about you thinking I'm crazy so don't bother posting any comments like that. I travel in my dreams and even tend to frequent certain places with the same people. The dreams are not reoccurring. They are continuing.

Anyway, last night was the second night of dreaming that someone was trying to get to me in a negative way. I woke up wide awake and although my husband was going to let me sleep in I got up. It was 5:42am trust me, I don't willing get up that hour for anybody. I kept laying there trying to figure the dream out so I didn't call nagging Iya again. I realized that I have to pay attention to the CONNECTIONS that people have with one another. If I can't trust one person, then I have to pay attention to the people connected to them also as birds of a feather tend to flock together.

My dreams save me from a lot when I can understand them and when I pay attention. Like the one yesterday and this morning taught me about trust. I am naturally a very trusting person and pretty quick to forgive. This, for me, means that I get hurt a lot and caught off guard. I'm ALWAYS shocked when somebody does something mean to me. My first thought it ALWAYS, "...but what did I do to them to make them treat me like that?". Then time passes and I have to fight like hell to keep from forgiving and FORGETTING. For whatever reason, however, my dreams stick with me. I think it's because I feel like it is SPIRIT warning me and so I have to respect it more. I have to learn, however, that Spirit also works through my Ori when I'm awake, so I shouldn't have to get my nerves torn to shreds in a dream to get it.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading. Didn't intend on making this post this long...
*meaning I wasn't really learning anything. I was only doing what I was told, but wasn't being taught the meanings and such.