"Chile, marriage is work!!!" Really?

I went to a bridal shower today. A friend of mine had a lil stash in the care as a coping mechanism for those of us that aren't deep. We went out to the car, cups in hand, came in the house dipped crackers in, called it communion and had a ball. The first thing we did was go around the circle, introduce ourselves, and give our words of love/wisdom/encouragement. Everybody sad something funny, sexual, or encouraging...except one person.

I realize that it is human nature to project our issues and experiences on to other people. Especially if we are not spiritually grounded this will more than likely be the case. Anyhoo, when it was this particular person's turn, the first thing she said with total exhaustion was, "Marriage is work. It's a loooooooot of work." I just looked at her. I waited for some of these other people to say something. I wanted these happily married women to speak up on the blessings of marriage. *crickets* So I told her that yes, it is work, the same as any relationship worth having. The difference is that it doesn't FEEL like work to me. I looked at the exhausted woman who seemed to be challenging me and told her that I chose well. If you chose well you won't feel like a tortured scorned soul. It's like when people are at baby showers and they tell the mother-to-be every pregnancy  horror story ever know to woman-kind.

If you marriage is jacked up, the first and most productive thing to do is to take a really deep thoughtful look at yourself and your choices. I chose badly the first time. I mean I totally screwed up. There was no reason whatsoever for us to be together. This is not looking at the marriage retrospectively. I knew I was wrong when I married him. I know, you are wondering why I married him to start with. The same reason you have chosen mates that you thought you could fix, heal, love through their pain, etc. When I met my husband, even when I knew he was a good choice, I was still very conscious of my choice. I still paid close attention. Now when I think of my marriage, "work" is not the first thing that comes to mind. Do we work at it? Yes. Do we argue? Yes. Would I marry over and over? I have for all my previous life times and I will continue to do so for as many life times as possible. Why? Because I chose well.