So yesterday was such a strange day. First of all I worked 10 hours with no break. When I looked at my schedule the day before I thought, "What the hell did I do to myself?" Osun was with me and not only gave me quick hands and creativity in the midst of being tired, hungry, and getting in a lil misunderstanding with my husband. I am SO grateful, because I was able to pack 2 days of work into 1 day. I was also VERY bless to have a lot of my favorite clients in one day.
So I made mention of a lil misunderstanding with my husband. Of course I won't be giving details, because we both got pretty stank about the whole thing, but there is a lesson that I want to share. I have a less then stellar relationship with my father. Through the teachings of Ifa, Iya, and Yeye I have been able to behave in a way that makes our relationship easier. I know how to handle situations that use to turn ugly with respect. Anyway, in the recent past I had issues with viewing the relationship between my husband and daughter through the lens of my father and myself. I would often take up for her when she was wrong, because I would see her as a victim of a male chauvinist, which my husband is not. She was getting away with emotional and behavioral murder. My husband and I sat down, discussed it, and I decided to trust him and stay out of that lane. He is a good father and hasn't shown any signs of being like my father. Yesterday I heard half of an exchange between them and said something to my husband when I should have waited until later when I wasn't busy. Needless to say, it didn't go well. The lesson is if I had kept my promise and chosen my time to address the situation wisely, we wouldn't have had such a nasty situation. It ended well, because we both saw areas that we need to work on.
Osun ended as she began with showing herself to be a gracious mother. I had a meeting planned to discuss my rites of passage program. 3 women came out to support the effort. It started off with me talking about the different aspects of the program, but in true feminine form it morphed and changed like water. We started talking about our lives past, present, and future. I learned so much about them and myself. I learned how much I need women. I learned how much I need to have my own interests, take time to myself, and find out what types of things I like to do. All these things my sound really selfish, except for the fact that I have a martyrdom complex of some sort. Focusing on myself will actually bring some much needed balance. I don't know how it's going to go, because I have tried in the past and it hasn't gone very well thanks to feelings of guilt. Such is life, we keep trying to get it right until our time here is done.
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