I NEED GODPARENTS DAMMIT!!!

This is going to be really short and to the point. I need godparents. I am fully aware of this. I am surronded by people that have godparents that I could probably claim, but I don't feel pulled in that direction. I know that I need for he/she/them to be close to me. Being honest I know that I will not drive, but so far for all of the stuff that will be required of me to be a good supportive godchild and godsibling. I like being involved as much as possible and thus learning as much as possible. I have been gleaning information literally wherever I can get it. The problem is that is might be Lukumi, Santeria, or Ifa and sometimes I can't tell the difference. THEN within those practices each ile has their own personal way of doing things. No matter what I glean, I still feel idle, because I might have to unlearn some, most, or all of it. I don't even have ilekes and I know I need them in a major way. I need a bunch of stuff. It's like I have the need, but I don't have the source. What's that about? It's like I want to put it in the want ads and hold interviews or something! lol That's a no go. I know I'm not the most patience person in the world, but damn. Really? It's taking a while. Okay. I'm done venting. Odabo ati a sunji o

Meandering river...

Have you every looked around your life and it seemed as if shit was just falling down around you like the walls of Jericho? I feel that way right now. Well, in a way I do. It's like I am suffering from split personality disorder. I should be freakin' out and crying. I should be stompin' a mudhole in somebody's ass. I should be curled up in a fetal position in some dark recess. My reaction doesn't seem normal. It's like I'm watching a movie of my life and so the effect is lessened. The load is to heavy, but since it doesn't seem to really be mine... I think that my doppelganger was sent here to assist me in this load that is more than I can bear.

I flow like a meandering river. Squeezing through tight spots, knocking down seemingly impassable obstacles, all the while bringing revitalization to those around me...